Visit to Corning Museum of Glass

While in US I got the chance to visit the famous Corning Glass Museum. It was magnificent to realize that how a cooled liquid can be given an structure which simply becomes a piece of art. Among many thing we saw the process of making class.

But without doubt the high point was to get to see those pieces of art some of which was hard to believe that is actually glass.

Below are some of those pictures and are taken by me and my friends (Shiv and Suresh).

An evening

And I saw the shine in her eyes and it took me some time to realize that it's evident that it's actually moisture which is shining.

I have heard that the consumption of alcohol leads to moist eyes. Was it the same? I couldn't say but while I was thinking it started getting real watery.

Her eyes were full of tears, it struck me. I don't know how to handle that. For me the most honest approach is to feel the other person's sadness. I guess it comes out with my own experience. But it was so fast that I was sort of shocked.

A cute girl in tear is not a nice thing to handle. But thankfully she got her composure back and it got sort of normal. I don't know but it feels like girls at least most of them are so quick silver volatile. Their emotions flows like an inside of half filled water-tank going through rough terrains with real top speed.

For a guy like me who relies on stability and certainty, One whose mind is infested by lust and greed. Such vulnerable behavior are an insight into different world.

And then we moved forward, I have always find difficult to argue with girls, they are so repetitive and forceful, also puts a lot of thing into perspective so quickly that you cannot synchronize all of it and come out with a conclusion of yours.

It's fun to argue if you are not serious but yes it's hard to win. However I recently studied somewhere that women like to argue with the guys she is interested in. When they lose interest their urge to argue gets lesser.

So you can feel good if she is arguing with you. Anyhow she looked cute so I don't care if I lose a couple of arguments.

I always find that women words don't matches their action. This was no exception. She says she don't care anything. but it seems little things does matter to her.

I feel such an idiot for being so greedy on her. I know I should not have. But I don't know. Maybe that's what it was meant to be.

Sometime I feel our lives are the quest of feeling good about ourselves. Not only good but also feeling special, trusted and loved.  That is what after all makes us happy. We also relies on others for this.

It was a great evening. It was special.It was amateur, I was confused and she was lovely. I don't know why but I feel I owe her something somewhere.

I better not divulge more of it. I liked it and maybe it was best evening for me this year or maybe last few years.     
   

First Impression

It's my first week in USA and I am not moving out as much as I would like to still I guess I have enough content to make a post about first hand experience of my visit. Note that much of this might will change later on as I face more of US.

I have been visiting to NY for business reasons. If I have to draw parallel I would say that NY is like Mumbai however there is vast difference between two cities.

Before coming to US, I had much doubts and I was circumspect about the people here and their respective behavior, So I am going to in a way answer my own doubts I had earlier.

There are stereotyping which is very much prevalent. Indian, Chinese, Italian, Mexicans etc. there are stereotypes about each and all. However It's difficult to stereotype American, for the simple reason that for generations now different people are staying in America and have become Americans and it's really difficult to put them in a single thread.

For example When I reached at JFK airport the lady who was synchronizing the lines for Visa verification looked South American, The officer who did the visa verification seemed some European guy and the one who was there for custom goods verification was Chinese person (It's difficult for me to differentiate between Chinese, Japanese, Korean or Vietnamese)

Since there are different orientation people as part of america, defining American is next to impossible. However still if I have to define, I would put few point which I feel more or less is applicable to most of US people.

First thing which I feel is US people does not like to be hesitant, They believe in putting their point even if they are not very sure about it. Even if they are hesitant about something they would prefer to expose that. In other words If a US person does not know what others are talking about he would like to let you know rather than silently pretend that he knows.

US people are consciously nice and in the same way consciously rude in few cases. With consciously I mean being nicer to you is a conscious effort by them, It might not be their natural behavior to nice but they might have adapted to be nice.

Coming from India, one vast difference is that we Indians and same would be applicable to other developing countries that we have a culture to 'manage' and 'co-operate'. In a place meant for 3 people sitting, 5 people can manage or co-operate. Much of it is due to (over)population and underdeveloped infrastructure. But bottom line is in US people don't have this idea of 'managing' even if there is shortage of resources.

Consumerism and Commercialization has got into the bones of US, Almost everything has a business viewpoint. At the end of the day you have to sell something to someone, it might be an idea or a product or whatever, only condition is that the means should be fair.

Fashion is other noticeable thing, To maintain the spirit of fashion, people seems to be going at length, the dressing, the tattoos, weird piercing, unconventional clothing. To be true I am enjoying it. I don't think it would keep amusing me for long and then it might just become meaningless.

Rules are rules and not guidelines. Again in India we take rules as suggestions and we use our brains to modify those rules in such a manner that it is beneficial. Traffic is maintained mostly when there is traffic police. Not that people are scared of traffic police but because they don't want to pay fine or bribe. In US on the other hand rules are much to do with discipline.

P.S. - I like the way when after the signal to cross the road for pedestrian is turned on, people from the both side of road walk toward the other end in such a manner that it gives an impression for a moment that two sets of people are running to meet their loved ones since they were separated long ago.

To be continued...................  


        

Getting over

Happiness is a choice.

read it somewhere. Don't agree to it but still noting it down because I might be wrong.

I have been thinking about relationship break-ups. It is devastating for anyone who is mentally and emotionally involved with someone.

The process of getting over someone. It seems like there is no easy escape when you are stuck in the middle of break-up of something which you valued much.

I guess it is specially tough on the male species. One simple reason of me guessing that is because men are not supposed to cry. It's programmed in our psyche in such a way that though we are broken inside into small pieces, we can't cry.

Men also don't carry those type of friendship with other men where they can pour their heart out and expect other person to talk him out of the depression. So all in all we have to deal with it ourselves.

Initially we try a lot of things, well hell lot of things. get ourselves into new hobbies or passion, try to instigate a new relationship out of thin air. Keep ourselves totally busy among friends. These are a few positive things of course there are a few negative aspects also.

But bottom line is men believe in action, they like to think that by indulging into activities they will somehow get rid of those unsolved business festering inside their heart.

Obviously whoever has felt it, knows that none of those activities works for long. Soon you realize that no matter what you do it will always be there at the back of your head. You are merely trying to ignore it, and the more you try to ignore it the greater frustration it leads you to.


it has been almost 4 years and I still can't honestly say that I have got over it totally. Maybe I will never but I have learned to live with it.

So why it is so difficult?

When we love someone, we expose ourselves. We show how weak we are and truth is we all are weak inside, at least weaker than what image we carry of ourselves in the real world and to the society.

We expose ourselves and puts us in a vulnerable position and secretly hopes that the person to whom we are open does not freaks out and accepts it. Other person sees the goodness in us. I would emphasize that each of us are really good people deep beneath our heart and all our badness is basically a reaction to different scenarios. We keep justifying even our bad actions.

As soon as other person likes your real self and let you know that or you observe that, you move to different galaxy. It's a great feeling to be loved by someone whom you love. Nothing will ever beat it. you loosen all your threads and likes to get woven with other person.

You dream. you feel strong and complete. Of course all these happens on a subconscious level and you are so in middle of it that you don't realize what web you heave got yourself into it.

Now there are a thousand reason for it going wrong. You were stupid, other person was stupid, it wasn't meant to be, situations were different. lack of communication, ego, misunderstanding, different expectations etc. etc.

Irrespective of what the reason is when it breaks you gets a sinking feeling right away. Your dreams which were so dear to you starts haunting you and you want to bury it deep so that it doesn't bother you but you can't. You get angry over yourself  that you are so not in your own control.

You try to ignite the anger inside you, you try to hate the other person. But how can you hate someone whom you so selflessly loved once. It's a scene of total despair, frustration and desperation. Your heart still is clinging to that dream and wonderful feelings and you feel you are in a fix. you try to search for your fault, you search for your ex fault. but all of it is so futile.

You simply search a way so that you can wash all of it for once and all. But it doesn't happen that way. To add to the problem you get doubtful about yourself, you think that you are not a good or competent person. your self-esteem and self-respect both goes for a toss.

What a horrible situation. :)

Bad news is that there is no escape from it. Anyone who goes through it has to go through it. Just know that you are doing good, that's all one can do. Time will not heal it, but with time you will learn to get at peace with it. It would make you a stronger and resilient person. Good or bad for whatever it may be.

Soon all those moments of love which haunted you like a lashing rain on cold night will become warmer like a noon of winter.

You can't forget it, no one can forget it. How can you forget the pure moment when you were totally vulnerable yourself and someone appreciated the real you? Soon you will not get angry over yourself for being stupid, instead you will smile and think that probably it was meant to be like that.

There are no tricks, there is no remedy and there is no escape for a broken heart.

No matter how much you try to hate that other person, you soon will love the fact that you loved that very person at that very moment. you know he or she was so beautiful and pure at that moment when you loved him or her.

Different persons has different ways of remembering the unfortunate break-ups. After some point you sort of get a choice as how you want to remember it.

I have chosen to remember it as some of the best moment of my life. For that very brief moment, for that really innocent girl, for good or bad, I wanted to be a better person. I wanted to be selfless.

I am no more a person I was at that time. She is no more the innocent girl she was at that moment. But on the reference of time that very moment was perfectly pure or purely perfect.

It took time, It will take time. Have patience. Have belief.        

It grows on you

People always give more importance to mental attraction than physical attraction, at least in theory we do prefer soul is more important than body. I feel it's true also. But I feel it doesn't start that way. Physical attraction is a starter, mental attraction is the main course.

I saw her image and I thought like it was kind of innocent. Then I saw her and honestly I was disappointed, looks are deceiving. Images/Pictures are way more deceiving. specially in the age of photoshop world.

Like always i am not going to disclose who you are. But i want to talk to you. You are beautiful and you might have heard it a lot more. You are not most beautiful girl I have seen, well you might not be most beautiful girl I have seen in a day. But there is a perfection about you.

With perfection, I don't mean you are perfect. What i mean is you are perfect in the way you are. I can think of a thousand way to alter you, but believe me none of those alteration makes you any more beautiful. Those eyes, that complexion, that figure, the voice.

When a boy likes a girl, he celebrates her existence in many ways, I do yours, I have celebrated for a few before you, I will celebrate a few after you. Initially it hurts that the girl does not feel the same way as we do for her. It frustrates us, typically I start ignoring to counter balance, but I know I really like you. The attraction is strong.

Everyone's life is a struggle, we seek a partner with whom the will to struggle gets stronger. Some of us get, some of us don't. In whatever life I have lived so far I can honestly claim that I am a miserable person to be with. I a not saying to impress, I know I am. bottom line is now I tend to believe that you are better off me.

As soon as a guy gets attracted to girl, she starts to seem more bright and valuable, her life seems to be cool and in retrospection your life starts to seem barren and meaningless and unproductive. This contrast makes you look up toward her with a sense of desire. It's not a great feeling to realize the loneliness and meaningless. It's like looking at clear water and realizing your thirst.

I also feel that you have little misconceptions about yourself, I know you feel and wish that you might have been more good looking if there could have been something extra. But I said it before and again the way I look at you, you are perfect, any alteration to you will be taking away the essence of your beauty. you don't realize that what you consider your negative point is actually your best feature. It makes you look so real that when I look at you my heart skips a few beat and for a few second I look like an idiot.

the way I see you, you are an amazing balance of modern and tradition. Just don't overdo any of that. Don't follow fashion mindlessly. You have a unique identity, stand by it. don't let the frog(s) tell the bird how to sing.

In a way i feel bad that I missed you, but then I think it wasn't meant to be. I know you will face many problems in your life, I don't know if I am sad or happy to realize that I would not be ne of those problem.

Honestly speaking I hope my writing of this piece will help me get over your attraction, maybe I face better to those beautiful eyes of yours. A childish part of me wish that maybe if we could have opened ourselves toward each other then.....

And then I stop myself from thinking further because again it's a gateway to hope. But then that's me.

I don't want you to feel sorry for me and neither this is any gimmick by me, I would be alright and you would be doing good either. This temporary problem of me being attracted toward you lusty radiance will diminish by time.

If I have not put it strongly earlier, I would emphasize again, you are one of the most attractive person I have been affected with. Please realize your beauty, don't follow the traditional definition of beauty. yours is not that plastic beauty. yours is more real, lively and mesmerizing. yours is one which grows on the person with time, your beauty is not in your face or figure, it's in the way you carry yourself gracefully. the unsure innocent look you have.

There are people who would like to demean you, people around you who would like to subtly or maybe bluntly try to make you realize your shortcoming or that's how they think it is. They would try to in many ways impose on you the inability to come in terms with the socially acceptable conventional ideas of beauty. Let me tell you something, if you make me to compare you with those beauties, I consider themselves ugly. sure my verdict is immaterial as most of people would find them more attractive. Then i am not most people, neither are you. Don't let those most people any less good about you. You are way more transparent than any of those around you.

I hope you get to read it sometime, i tried to keep it ambiguous enough to let people guess. but it's for you. And hey you should have allowed me that day.     

The Porn Logic

Pornography is disgusting. When others watch it. It's not when you wish to. I have been an avid porn watcher, I can well be honest with that, The reason behind should be obvious still just to answer is curiosity and refreshment. Like all teens I too was curious and the thing with porn is the more you go into it , the more you want to go into it.Porn has been alleged to provide wrong information about a girl's sexuality, It's correct. It's as much as correct as an action movie provide the wrong information about the stunts.

My intention is not to give judgement or prove a point because ultimately it doesn't matter. There will always be a pro and cons debate about it. As far as my views are concerned it always feel like the pros are well more than cons.

Moving ahead, there are a lots of stereotyping, which anyone can find prevalent in the porn movies since it's inception. I am going to list a few. So here we go.

1.  Any girl's whose car has broken down is up for having some hot steamy sex with the total stranger guy who gives her a lift.
2. For girls, taking revenge means having adultery.
3. All Nurses are slutty.
4. A girl would do 'anything' for getting good grades except studying.
5. If it's Japan, molesting a girl on train is probably legitimate.
6. If some weird game is going on which involves sex and you can't fathom the logic of the game, it's Japan.
7. Girls can go any length to become a model.
8. If she is a policewoman she would always voluntarily go amongst thugs and criminals alone, and never asks for any back-up.
9. By the punishment of sex, a bad behaving girl can be turned into a well behaved girl!!
10. Just like nurses, all babysitters are horny.
11. A maid always needs some extra money and can go at length for that, just like babysitters.
12. According to porn, a friend's mom, sis or daughter are legitimate target and they would never seriously stop your advances.
13. Girls/women who can't speak English are surprisingly promiscuous.
14. Czech and Ukranian Girls are all for money-for-sex stuff.
15. If ever a girl is caught watching porn or reading sex magazine, the ultimate punishment to her is....yeah right sex!!
16. The more the merrier as they say.
17. Her being drunk is probably an open invitation.
18. The couch and desk in a casting room is there for a reason. 
19. The most satisfying job for men apparently is either being a plumber or a Pizza delivery boy.
20. If you at random pick a chick from some road or market place, after 10-15 minutes of chit-chat in all probability she would be willing!!
21. If you do it in a bus or in park, people will clap in the end.
22. Like all babysitters and maids, Secretaries are horny and willing and hot too.
23. Even if she is a housewife and is at home and is doing nothing she would always be in high heels and mini skirts....because opportunity can knock the door anytime...
24. Nuns have lustful desires.
25. A girl can be blackmailed into it for trivial reasons without any long term consequences.
26. She knows how to pay bills and rent even if she has no money.
27. You take it out and she is impressed!!....well specially if you are black.
28. Even if she has a tooth ache, Doctors will go for a thorough examination...specially by putting the stethoscope on her breast.
29. Stewardesses is always there for your needs, just like nurses.
30. She either wants it or too dumb or both.
31. Brides specially brides to be can't control it and usually best man instead of the man himself she finds solace with.

I would take a rest on these much, Might update later, feel free to add. Having said that if you find it offending or gross or whatever you know you should not have gone through it.

Have a good time.