Happiness is a choice.
read it somewhere. Don't agree to it but still noting it down because I might be wrong.
I have been thinking about relationship break-ups. It is devastating for anyone who is mentally and emotionally involved with someone.
The process of getting over someone. It seems like there is no easy escape when you are stuck in the middle of break-up of something which you valued much.
I guess it is specially tough on the male species. One simple reason of me guessing that is because men are not supposed to cry. It's programmed in our psyche in such a way that though we are broken inside into small pieces, we can't cry.
Men also don't carry those type of friendship with other men where they can pour their heart out and expect other person to talk him out of the depression. So all in all we have to deal with it ourselves.
Initially we try a lot of things, well hell lot of things. get ourselves into new hobbies or passion, try to instigate a new relationship out of thin air. Keep ourselves totally busy among friends. These are a few positive things of course there are a few negative aspects also.
But bottom line is men believe in action, they like to think that by indulging into activities they will somehow get rid of those unsolved business festering inside their heart.
Obviously whoever has felt it, knows that none of those activities works for long. Soon you realize that no matter what you do it will always be there at the back of your head. You are merely trying to ignore it, and the more you try to ignore it the greater frustration it leads you to.
it has been almost 4 years and I still can't honestly say that I have got over it totally. Maybe I will never but I have learned to live with it.
So why it is so difficult?
When we love someone, we expose ourselves. We show how weak we are and truth is we all are weak inside, at least weaker than what image we carry of ourselves in the real world and to the society.
We expose ourselves and puts us in a vulnerable position and secretly hopes that the person to whom we are open does not freaks out and accepts it. Other person sees the goodness in us. I would emphasize that each of us are really good people deep beneath our heart and all our badness is basically a reaction to different scenarios. We keep justifying even our bad actions.
As soon as other person likes your real self and let you know that or you observe that, you move to different galaxy. It's a great feeling to be loved by someone whom you love. Nothing will ever beat it. you loosen all your threads and likes to get woven with other person.
You dream. you feel strong and complete. Of course all these happens on a subconscious level and you are so in middle of it that you don't realize what web you heave got yourself into it.
Now there are a thousand reason for it going wrong. You were stupid, other person was stupid, it wasn't meant to be, situations were different. lack of communication, ego, misunderstanding, different expectations etc. etc.
Irrespective of what the reason is when it breaks you gets a sinking feeling right away. Your dreams which were so dear to you starts haunting you and you want to bury it deep so that it doesn't bother you but you can't. You get angry over yourself that you are so not in your own control.
You try to ignite the anger inside you, you try to hate the other person. But how can you hate someone whom you so selflessly loved once. It's a scene of total despair, frustration and desperation. Your heart still is clinging to that dream and wonderful feelings and you feel you are in a fix. you try to search for your fault, you search for your ex fault. but all of it is so futile.
You simply search a way so that you can wash all of it for once and all. But it doesn't happen that way. To add to the problem you get doubtful about yourself, you think that you are not a good or competent person. your self-esteem and self-respect both goes for a toss.
What a horrible situation. :)
Bad news is that there is no escape from it. Anyone who goes through it has to go through it. Just know that you are doing good, that's all one can do. Time will not heal it, but with time you will learn to get at peace with it. It would make you a stronger and resilient person. Good or bad for whatever it may be.
Soon all those moments of love which haunted you like a lashing rain on cold night will become warmer like a noon of winter.
You can't forget it, no one can forget it. How can you forget the pure moment when you were totally vulnerable yourself and someone appreciated the real you? Soon you will not get angry over yourself for being stupid, instead you will smile and think that probably it was meant to be like that.
There are no tricks, there is no remedy and there is no escape for a broken heart.
No matter how much you try to hate that other person, you soon will love the fact that you loved that very person at that very moment. you know he or she was so beautiful and pure at that moment when you loved him or her.
Different persons has different ways of remembering the unfortunate break-ups. After some point you sort of get a choice as how you want to remember it.
I have chosen to remember it as some of the best moment of my life. For that very brief moment, for that really innocent girl, for good or bad, I wanted to be a better person. I wanted to be selfless.
I am no more a person I was at that time. She is no more the innocent girl she was at that moment. But on the reference of time that very moment was perfectly pure or purely perfect.
It took time, It will take time. Have patience. Have belief.
read it somewhere. Don't agree to it but still noting it down because I might be wrong.
I have been thinking about relationship break-ups. It is devastating for anyone who is mentally and emotionally involved with someone.
The process of getting over someone. It seems like there is no easy escape when you are stuck in the middle of break-up of something which you valued much.
I guess it is specially tough on the male species. One simple reason of me guessing that is because men are not supposed to cry. It's programmed in our psyche in such a way that though we are broken inside into small pieces, we can't cry.
Men also don't carry those type of friendship with other men where they can pour their heart out and expect other person to talk him out of the depression. So all in all we have to deal with it ourselves.
Initially we try a lot of things, well hell lot of things. get ourselves into new hobbies or passion, try to instigate a new relationship out of thin air. Keep ourselves totally busy among friends. These are a few positive things of course there are a few negative aspects also.
But bottom line is men believe in action, they like to think that by indulging into activities they will somehow get rid of those unsolved business festering inside their heart.
Obviously whoever has felt it, knows that none of those activities works for long. Soon you realize that no matter what you do it will always be there at the back of your head. You are merely trying to ignore it, and the more you try to ignore it the greater frustration it leads you to.
it has been almost 4 years and I still can't honestly say that I have got over it totally. Maybe I will never but I have learned to live with it.
So why it is so difficult?
When we love someone, we expose ourselves. We show how weak we are and truth is we all are weak inside, at least weaker than what image we carry of ourselves in the real world and to the society.
We expose ourselves and puts us in a vulnerable position and secretly hopes that the person to whom we are open does not freaks out and accepts it. Other person sees the goodness in us. I would emphasize that each of us are really good people deep beneath our heart and all our badness is basically a reaction to different scenarios. We keep justifying even our bad actions.
As soon as other person likes your real self and let you know that or you observe that, you move to different galaxy. It's a great feeling to be loved by someone whom you love. Nothing will ever beat it. you loosen all your threads and likes to get woven with other person.
You dream. you feel strong and complete. Of course all these happens on a subconscious level and you are so in middle of it that you don't realize what web you heave got yourself into it.
Now there are a thousand reason for it going wrong. You were stupid, other person was stupid, it wasn't meant to be, situations were different. lack of communication, ego, misunderstanding, different expectations etc. etc.
Irrespective of what the reason is when it breaks you gets a sinking feeling right away. Your dreams which were so dear to you starts haunting you and you want to bury it deep so that it doesn't bother you but you can't. You get angry over yourself that you are so not in your own control.
You try to ignite the anger inside you, you try to hate the other person. But how can you hate someone whom you so selflessly loved once. It's a scene of total despair, frustration and desperation. Your heart still is clinging to that dream and wonderful feelings and you feel you are in a fix. you try to search for your fault, you search for your ex fault. but all of it is so futile.
You simply search a way so that you can wash all of it for once and all. But it doesn't happen that way. To add to the problem you get doubtful about yourself, you think that you are not a good or competent person. your self-esteem and self-respect both goes for a toss.
What a horrible situation. :)
Bad news is that there is no escape from it. Anyone who goes through it has to go through it. Just know that you are doing good, that's all one can do. Time will not heal it, but with time you will learn to get at peace with it. It would make you a stronger and resilient person. Good or bad for whatever it may be.
Soon all those moments of love which haunted you like a lashing rain on cold night will become warmer like a noon of winter.
You can't forget it, no one can forget it. How can you forget the pure moment when you were totally vulnerable yourself and someone appreciated the real you? Soon you will not get angry over yourself for being stupid, instead you will smile and think that probably it was meant to be like that.
There are no tricks, there is no remedy and there is no escape for a broken heart.
No matter how much you try to hate that other person, you soon will love the fact that you loved that very person at that very moment. you know he or she was so beautiful and pure at that moment when you loved him or her.
Different persons has different ways of remembering the unfortunate break-ups. After some point you sort of get a choice as how you want to remember it.
I have chosen to remember it as some of the best moment of my life. For that very brief moment, for that really innocent girl, for good or bad, I wanted to be a better person. I wanted to be selfless.
I am no more a person I was at that time. She is no more the innocent girl she was at that moment. But on the reference of time that very moment was perfectly pure or purely perfect.
It took time, It will take time. Have patience. Have belief.
