Wholesome.

Well today I took a bath...after many days.....

Was postponing it since many days. When used to be home I took bath everyday coz otherwise I will be scolded by my Dad.

Mom too use to scold but I never took that seriously, I think that's the charm of the mother. She gives you the liberty to ignore her, She don't take it as a matter of pride.

I usually get angry over my mother, which is strange coz I rarely get angry over anyone, then why my mother who loves me most. I think people get angry to the person with whom he or she has some expectations, they feel they have right on them and getting angry is a negative effect of it.

Why does my mother bear my anger, I sumtym try to keep myself in place of my mother and understandably I cudnt. I just feel that she is the one who give me real value and importance even if I don't return the favor.

In a way getting angry on her is my way of misusing or say celebrating her love or importance for me. It's a selfish kind of celebration but it is.

To the outer world she is a strong lady and for few she is a crooked lady, for me she is most vulnerable, starts weeping like a girl sometime and best part is when I console her, She get consoled so easily.

If I think from my mother's point of view. God is really cruel to make us love someone so deeply that we don't care for our own existence in front of that one.

We all are weak to the person whom we love. And we love, mostly we think that we love but that is also contagious.

Her loving me makes me scared about myself, When I look inside myself there is hardly anything to love about, there is nothing much to hate about either but that's another thing. For her it doesn't matter.

I once remembered One of my addict friend's mother thought that I use to encourage his son towards drug and stuff, Actually his son use to take more drugs with me coz we both were failures in our life though we were supposed to be having too much potential.

Actually it hurt me, I started hating his mother due to her having such an idea. In fact I even depicted my dislikening her to my friend too. her mother was once my teacher for 7th standard.

She was an educated lady and she became the principle of a small school. My mother is comparatively very less educated and she rue the lost opportunity.

Still my mother would always blame me for everything. So it make me think that motherhood is more about personality than education and exposure. Education only give you a chance to improve it doesn't improve you for sure.

Once my mother bought me a new wallet when i pestered her for it, When I opened the wallet there were two pics of semi-nude girls, bit provocative. I hid it beneath my bed and used to watch it sometime as trying to find something or better solving some riddles. Once my mother found it, At first I denied, then my mother asked my sister and her denial nullified my denial, So had to tell the truth. But I didnt tell that I used to watch, just the fact that it came with the wallet.

I found my mother smiling but it still was embarrassing for me.

Now I think more about my mom coz I feel she would not be there to love me so wholesomely for too long. I start feeling her absence and it disturbs me.

I feel I am a handicapped person when I think about my personality, too much loopholes in it, am sure i will get better with time but thing is even now in front of my mother I can play the perfect person and she wont deny me, she wont counter me intentionally.

I know this thread is about telling the day specific things, but today i felt telling this only though it's not day specific.

Today I took bath and missed my mom scolding that's the day specific things.